don't wait for the storm to pass, learn how to dance under the rain

hi sweetheart! (if you are reading this you surely are a sweetheart!) today was one of the weirdest days ever, I was with some friends in school, and we were talking while "doing" the computing asignment. the converasation was something like this:

Emi: "hey, do you know there's a teacher with your exact same haircut??"

Me: "I know who you are talking about, but we have diferent haircuts, mine's better lol"

Emi: "I'm telling you, it's the same haircut!!! I saw her!"

Me: "I know! I saw her too. She's short, with black short hair and very light skin, she's studying translation..."

and that was when I realised I was just descriving myself in some years. I'm short, I have short black hair, my skin isn't that tanned, and I want to study translation when I get out of school!!  it really was funny, but it got me thinking about where I'm going to be in 10 years from now. so I decided to write a ist of my interest, so I can see where I can be headed.

My interests: # Theatre. I started going to drama classes some years ago, and I loved it! I became so outgoing, I lost almost all the fear of talking in front of an audince, and I made some pretty amazing friends (one of them likes my sister XD)
# Comedy: I consider myself a pretty funny person, and after watching some marathons of stand up comedy, I really liked it, you make fun of your own problems, and I CAN DO THAT, in fact I do that every day. I became a fan of Ellen DeGeneres and Mo'nique.
#Music, I come froma very musicakl family, so they influenced me a lot when it comes to hobbies.
#Speaking, I just love a good conversation!!

I don't know what I'm going to do in 10 years, but I hope I get to do any of the ones in my list. they are my golden dreams.

hi, posting a topic like this is very weird to me, as I never thought something like this would ever happen to me, I have two "stalkers"

one is in my school. it started as an inocent game. he started saying compliments to me and I had a good reaction at them, I never thought someone would ever give  me a compliment, and that is why I was a 100% sure he's just fooling around. but then he started screaming my name once in a while whenever I walked by, and making comments to me, and he walks near my classroom and looks trought the window of the door, and sat next to me in a school meeting, and other stuff like that. I used to be sure he was just joking, but now I'm not that sure. he has a reputation in my school of not being so nice, something jerkish, but in a school trip I was able to see he isn't that much of a jerk, but the camp ended and now he's the old him, wo doesn't really talk, if he talked to me like in a real conversation, I'd like him a lot more.

the other one is the worse type of stalker and really creepy: an internet stalker. he added me at msn some years ago, and I talked to him as I didn't have that much of a social life. but then he started talking about wanting to meet me, I always changed the subject, until one day he went to my country, I felt like diyng. he told me about meeting him but I never answwered or set a day. so he retuned to his country, and today I got into my msn and he started talking to me, and he remembered where I was from (which I actually lied so to aboid things like this) he told me that I didn't wanted to talk to him and that I was afraid, I never answered back, then he logged out and I'm scared, I fear what he might do, I am really afraid that if I tell him that I don't want to meet him what he might do. I'm scared. I don't want to tell my parents, should I stop admiting him?? what shall I do??

ok, I got sick, it sucks, I can hardly breath, and talk (I can't sing at all now) but that forced me to focus more on my guitar, and thanks to that I can now play the begging of Friday I'm in love.

a friend of mine and I get together once in a while to practice some songs. she plays the guitar and I sing. and sometimes (only if really needed) I play the piano. not that I can play it, I just touch the keys in the order that the song requires. so my friend doesn't know hoe to play the begging of the song (and we need a second guitar) so I'll play that part and some others as piano isn't needed.

I hate beeing sick, I can't get with my friends without the fear of making them ill. so I'm taking every cold pill I can get to my hands. it isn't so much as that, but you get it.

I really don't have much to say, so bye bye!!!

love you all!!!

ok, so a friend just bought an electric guitar, and I went to her house to name it (the guitar name is Will and the amp´s name is Grace) she started playing Friday I'm in love by The Cure, and we started practicing so we could get it right and I thought it would be a good idea to record it so we could see what were we doing wrong, it was great, but when we check it out we all started laughing at how my voive sounded, I knew tape recorderd distortion voice a little bit, and as we human beeings can't listen to our voice as it really sounds I was horrified at it, I SOUND LIKE A BOY!!! later I showed the recording o my sister and told me that wasn't my regular voice, the recorder distotioned it a lot (I now can breath XD)

this sucks, next month 16´s is my birthday, I'm really exited because I'm turning 16. I know that my friends are already on something. it's too obious... one of my best friends calls home, I answer the phone, and she asks for my sister, she wanted to "discuss a book they were reading" (yeah, sure...), every time I go to the bathroom, when I come back they inmediatly stop talking. everything was actually funny, because I tried to listen to what they talkked about, untill... the drop THE BOMB: no one is going to be in town the day of my birthday.

I don't think it's a joke. they really were serious about it. it sucks because I won't be able to spend a very important moment for me with them. I know it sounds stupid, but it really means a lot to me. (this was going to be the first time I´d actually do something for my birthday)

ok, so I was chatting with a friend after I met a guy that was really nice with me, I wanted to tell her, but I realized that if I told her I liked someone, she'd use that against me eventually. unlukily for me, I realized too late I already told her that I had something to tell her but that she had to keep it for herself (yeah, sure ¬.¬) so I decided to turn it into a joke. I put:

_"I didn't told you this because I wasn't sure if it would work out, but I met this guy some weeks ago and we are going out."

and that's how she answered it:

_ "OMG!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!! YOU HAVE A BOY FRIEND!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS"

that hurted, is it that difficult to imagine me with someone?? I'm not that cold hearted. the next day I asked her why she reacted that way, and she said that she didn't imagined me as a romantic. but that's a big fat lie. I'm a romantic!! is the wall I built too tall?? I don't know, but I think it's time to break it. though, It's great to be misterious. no one knows who I like (or liked) and that's kinda cool ;)

Summer's arrived, at least for south america. I completly HATE SUMMER. Can't stand it, just hate all that heat, all the time. and every summer i
s getting hotter, and I can't stand it. If it wasn't for the 3 months doing anything but what I feel like doing, I would die. to aboid the heat in the future, I'm going to go to live to London (or another cold city on England). But as I can't do anything about it now, I have to be prepared, I listed here my "really could use" stuff.

• first of all: SUN TONE factor 65 will do for me, I'm relatively pale, and I like my skin to remain lika that this summer.

• A HAT: or a cap (actually, a cap is much better)

• FLIP-FLOPS

(I'm short, and my friends are taller than me, even my younger sister is taller than me, so I use high heeled flip-flops so I don't look so short)

• and last but not least A LIGHTER!!! so I can burn all my school stuff!!!

• There is something missing, and those are my friends, couldn't survive summer vacations without them. They are the love of my fucken life!!!

I just came back from a school trip. Once a year my school plans a trip to somewhere on the country, I decided to go to this "camp". we slept on a hotel almost every night, so it wasn't a real camp. as in my school we are very few, all the students from highschool can go. we were only 37 this year. the girls a year younger are SO ANOYING!!! I really can't stand them. they tried to be all nice with us so we include them, but they are really stupid. they were all ther day screaming about everything, complaining about how "fat" they were (they are really sick, they all were very thin). we went only 5 girls from my class, we slept in the same room, we are friends laughed about everything and all that but sometimes I really felt like they were excluding me. they all asked fro my help with some things, but whenever I needed help, they were nowhere to be seen. for example, I asked a girl if I looked better with someshorts or with a skirt (a day which was extremedly hot and we went outside to get suntoned) and she started with "not now, I need to get my things done!" I cracked there, I sytarted saying "you don't have time to give me an advice but you do have time for the other girls". but in general we were good. we had a great time. there was a girl that always complains about everything. so we called her"la quijada" as there was a place there called la quijada. (queja = complain). there was one night that we went to camp to the mountain. we had to walk 10 kilometers to get there. with our backpacks, sleepingbags, and our food. we arrived there after three hours of walking through the mountain under the killing sun. we made our tents and prepared the fire and we sat down next to it, because it was getting cold. we ate and at 11 all my tent mates went to sleep, but I stayed there with the seniors and some other boys and girls from another class. we told jokes, and played some games, at around 3 am, we all went to sleep, but when I opened the tent, there was no room for me, so I got in as I could, got inside my sleeping bag and pushed the girl that was next to me. I woke up at 8 am I put on my shoes and went to have breakfast. then we had to walk the 10 kilometers back to the hotel.

there wasn't anything special after that, so good bye.

ok, my family and I went to a family friend of ours house for a birthday. they have 2 daughters, one's a year younger and the other  one a year older, and a son, who is 17. the two girls are so anoying, I can't stand them, they also don't want to be near me so they just came to say hello and then dissapeared for the rest of the night. the thing is that the older brother (let's name him Mark) was never nice with me, if I talked he just noded his head looking somewhere alse. but when he came into the livingroom, I turned around to say hi (here in argentina we give a kiss on the cheek every time we say hello, we know/like the person or not) and he automatically smiled, a true smile not one of the fake ones, and when we kissed on the cheeks he put his hand on my upper back and not on my shoulder and he smiled nervously. later when I was talking he actually looked at me, and was always smiling. later when he was going to get a cake from a beckery, her mother told me to go, and said that he didn't bite and that he wouldn't try anything, and that I didn't have to worry. he drove me to the backery we got the cake and came back. and for my surprise he actually talked to me. when we came back both of our families asked us to get the pizzas, so he drove us to the restaurant were they ordered the pizza, and he actually opened me the door (and I thought gentlemanliness was dead) and then he crashed the car against the lane, and the wheel broke. I felt so guilty!! I'm still feeling bad about it!! his father wanted to kill him.

we wnet home at midnight more or less. my mom told me that his mother wanted me as her daughter in-law (that was funny), but later My heart started beating weird, and whenever I heard his name or something I beated harder, so much that I felt the beats on my ears!! and I started sighning a lot, and singing "lovesong" from The Cure,  it's so freaky, either I'm in love with him or I'm going to have a heart attack soon. the thing is that I never felt this way in my whole life!!!

              S.O.S

I'm so happy!!  I always used my father's old acustic guitar since I have memories, but today when I came from school I went to my room and there it was a big cardbore box on top of my bed (it loked like a coffin actually XD) and when I opened it there was a new acustic guitar!!! MY OWN GUITAR not the one my father lent me which was broken , this one is my own. I've been thinking in putting him a name, but I'm not sure about it, plus I don't know one good name for him ¬_¬

ok, my father plays the guitar since he was 7 years old, so I asked him to help me with a song I was trying to play. we looked for the partiture and he started playing it, then he told me yo play it, I started playing it but my hand hurted, so I couldn't change the notes normally.

dad_ what's wrong?? you can play better than that.                                                                  

me_ I would, but my hand hurts.

dad_ ok, let me see.

he checked my hand, it was alright but my wrist hurted, so did a part of my arm. he told me I had tendonitis for practicing too much. but it wasn't that much, just an hour or two per day. the thing is that I'm teaching myself, I have an old book from the first time I went to a guitar professor (when I was 9), and I practiced the notes from there and from the net. and that was the problem, I hold the guitar wrongly, and that husted my tendon.

me- how long would it take to heal??

dad_ three weeks, more or less.

me_ dad, can you help me with something later.

dad_ yeah, sure, with what?

me_  changing the strings from place, I'm going to play with my right hand.

he laughed so hard, but I really wasn't jocking, i'm not going to stop playing the guitar for a month just because my hand's tendon is injured.

hi, as the title says: I FEEL GREAT!! i had some changes:

+ for the past 4 weeks i've been vegetarian. it's the most awesome thing i've ever done. i just love it. although it has it's problems. my father is all the time making vegetarian jokes, or saying "this chiken (or what ever) is delicious!! it's such a shame you are a vegetarian now" i want to kill him every time he says something like that. and he is not the only one. i just couldn't stand it and started shouting saying "i really could use some support from you. you know that could really help!!" and some other things. that was a change, i'd never said something like that to my parents.

+my mother started accepting myself, she doesn't care that i wear my eyeliner and my fake piercing. she really reacted so differntly that what i expected. i thought she would make fun of me.

+you surely remember how bad i felt about a friend who is mad at me, now i just don't care whether she decides to come back or not. i won't look for her, if she wants me back, she'll have to come to me first.

+ i started writing songs again!!!  i really missed writing, it feels awesome. i had some song already written. i read them and changed them, there's one song that the only part that remained was "i won't wait for you" and i added "anymore". there is no intact part of the whole song. i wrote some new songs also, like "Every day is halloween". how i started writing it is realy funny, the title just came to me one night, i took a pen and started writing the song, based on the title.

well, that's all for now. see you on my next post.

LOTS OF LOVE <3 <3

hi, well, as you can saywith the title, I HAVE A NEW LOOK!!! i canged my hair, now i comb it different, staright the fringe (and some hair near it) of course combed to one side covering my left eye. and the upper hair is all puffy (depends on the day sometimes straighter than others). and now i started wearing eyeliner and black eye shadow. some poeple say i'm preatier now (skinnier and all those lies, i'm as fat as always)

i'm on my grand parents house this week, so i don't have my camera, but i'll post a pic whenever i arrive home.

see you xox

how did my life change so drastically???

i used to have lots of friends, we all laughed at school, and i liked because i was with them, we all sitted in a corner and talked about stupid things, laughing as hell. i was always with someone in the breaks. never thought about suicide ar anything like that.

all of a sudden, i'm left alone. i hardly speak with anyone, i'm always the girl listening now, i'm always alone on the breaks, it's EXTREMEDLY DIFFICULT  for me to smile . ME!! who always laughed my lungs out.

i'm still sick, they checked my stomach (2 echographies  i don't know how to spell it) but my stomach keeps hurting, so they gave me some pills. as i'm now alone in the breaks i went to the class room, which of course it was empty, looked to the pills i have to take and thought about killing myself with OD.

I don't like to feel this way!!!! i hate this!!! i now hate my life!!! i want them to realize i'm feeling awefull. i never had this kind of problems.

it might be because a friend doesn't speak to me any more. no, this can't be it, there must be something else. why people are soo important to me? i think this is my problem, i care too much about people. WHY  THE  FUCK  DO  I  CARE  THAT  MUCH ABOUT  PEOPLE!!!!

and the fucking answer is always the same I DON'T KNOW!! I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!!!

hi, well since saturday evening, my stomach (actually the lower stomach) is aching, some days more some days less. i told my mother and she said it might be something wrong with my apendix, but she wasn't sure. so today she took me to the doctor, he examined my stomach, and told me not to worry, that it seemed to be muscular.

i was really happy, because if he sid that it was my apendix, they had to take me a blood sample to check i don't know what. I can't stand needles i 'm terrified of them (just if i see it before they stick it to my arm).

and if the blood test is positive, there was a surgery, even though it's nothing too serious, it's just a rutine surgery for any surgean, i don't like the idea of loosing my "inmunity" (i am the only one in my whole family who hasn't had a surgery).

i should feel relief, but my mother insist in me to have a second opinion from another doctor, just to be sure. that kinda freaks me out, i don't want a surgery!!!

I just can't get this.

why do people hate emos so much????

I saw soo many pics insulting emo kids. why??? what the fuck is their problem?!?! I don't hate preps (I know they are soo fake and everything, but I don't HATE them) Don't know what do you think about that. but what is the problem. most of the people who hate emos aren't even preps or joks!!!!

can anybody tell me why??? cause I can't figure  that by myself

even though my birthday was the 16 th, I will write this now. I didn't have time. the day of my birthday I was on vacations on esquel. the strange thing, something I never ever expected was that lot of people, who I  thought they hated me, actually SEND ME A MESSAGE OR CALL ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY. it was so strange (VERY STRANGE) since then I have been thinking about my friends. my ouncle asked me on christmass:

_I always hear you talking about things you did with your friends...

_Yes, most of my funniest things I made them with my friends, they are like my family.

_You seem to have tons of friends.

_not really... I have a few very good friends, but that's all.

I always say that, because I feel that way. but I have more friends than I think (or feel) I have. maybe they are not friends friends for me. but I mean someting to them, at least the care about me. may be I am the one who hates them, and I try to convince myself I am not the problem, and that they are the one who hates me. don't really know...

I really would need someones advice right now. if no one reads this in a couple of days I will put it in rock n roll therapy.

hi there, my first post on my journal. don't know how to start.... I have also (even though I havent use it in several monthes) a journail in greatest journals (in case someone actually reads this and knows greatest journals my account is mayra_06)

well, there is no much to tell, I am an argentinian girl, I don't like latin music, prefer english music, rock punk emo, etc. HATE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL (I mean it I HATE IT) it is a shame to all called music.

richt now I'm not in my house I am in a ciber next to the hotel I am in. I say this because there are some boys in the computer close to mine that are looking at me like I am an alien or something like that. I hate when people do that. Only because I am not all day dressed in pink (I mean girly girl pink), have an OWN personality, and don't act like a sluth they stare at you like if you where something bad. here in argentina there are lots of people who don't have an own personality, because they want to fit in a group. so you can see a group of "clones" walking in the street, whit the same clothe, the same haircut, the same presonality, the same everithing. just disgusting then they call ME freak.

well see you (there is anyone).